The Peculiar Flow

We talk a lot about “getting out of your feelings,” but lately I’ve been learning how to get out of the circumstance too—even while the circumstance is still circumstancing.

Let me break that down.

When we say, “get out ya feelings,” we’re not saying you’re not allowed to feel.

You can feel it.

You can be disappointed.
You can be frustrated.
You can be angry.
You can grieve.
You can acknowledge that something hurt.

But eventually, you have to step out of that emotional pit and into something that better serves your mental health, your productivity, your peace, or your healing.

You can feel it without building a house there.

And I’m learning to approach circumstances the same way.

There are situations in my life that are not immediately fixable.

Things I may still be waiting on.
Things that require someone else’s action.
Things that need time.
Things I’m praying for strategy about.
Things that are simply still under construction.

And I realized I don’t have to remain emotionally trapped inside of a circumstance just because the circumstance itself hasn’t changed yet.

I can acknowledge it.

I can pray about it.

I can ask God for wisdom, revelation, instruction, or strategy.

I can handle whatever responsibility belongs to me.

And then I can make my emotional and mental exit.

Because staying under pressure that is no longer producing anything does not benefit me.

That’s the part I’m learning.

If I’m under pressure, it needs to produce something.

A strategy.
A decision.
A revelation.
A boundary.
A plan.
A next step.

But if I have prayed, processed, done what I can do, and there is currently nothing else for me to act on, I refuse to let the problem keep collecting interest in my mind.

That is not the same thing as abandoning responsibility.

It is refusing to abandon myself while the problem is being worked out.

There is a difference between dealing with a situation and dwelling in one.

There is a difference between being responsible and being consumed.

There is a difference between processing something and replaying it until your nervous system thinks the emergency is happening every single day.

Some situations require your attention.

They do not require your constant anxiety.

Some problems need management.

They do not need your entire emotional life.

Some things genuinely need time before the answer becomes clear.

And while I’m waiting for clarity, I still deserve to live.

I still deserve to laugh.

I still deserve to create.

I still deserve to enjoy what is good in my life.

I still deserve peace in the middle of an unfinished story.

I refuse to live my life permanently weighed down by problems.

If I’m stepping into the pressure, I want it to produce a resolve or a strategy.

Otherwise, I’m stepping back out.

The circumstance may still exist.

The paperwork may still be processing.
The conversation may still need to happen.
The answer may still be on the way.
The situation may still be circumstancing.

But it does not get unlimited access to my peace.

I’ll revisit it when there is something to do.

Until then, I’m going to live.

Because every unfinished problem does not require an unfinished version of me.